Eat chocolates in wrappers.
Once your child has homed in on the very specific rustle of a chocolate bar being sneakily unwrapped in secrecy by their spent
mother, desperate to not share this last cream egg there’s no going back. My eldest once ran to me in a haste I've never witnessed before because I was unwrapping a ink cartridge. - Mum Hack when next trying to leave the house grab some ink cartridges-
2. Watch your favourite TV programmes in the day time.
5 years ago my saving grace for rainy days was Love Island. Or TOWIE. Or Keeping up with the Kardashians. Or whatever I fancied watching that day really. It was my choice. Today it's my choice that the kids watch TV of their choice so that I get a break. From them. But still, a break.
3. Pee in private.
As soon as I touch the bathroom door handle it’s like a PA system for our household. If I get to shower or heaven forbid use the toilet alone once that day it's a good day. Usually I get a child, sometimes a cat, sometimes a husband; sometimes it’s every-bloody-one and both the cats. With that new-born, they're not going anywhere leave them staring at that ceiling and enjoy your privacy whilst it lasts.
4. Choose, with ease what you are going to cook for dinner.
Anything that’s not beige, or animal shaped, or baked beans, is probably going to end in a disappointed child.
5. Enjoy the one way conversation.
We are encouraged to talk to our babies; this is of course how they learn in return to talk. But the beauty of talking to new-borns is once you've had enough, the conversation stops. There are no deep questions about the anatomy of a woman you aren't prepared for at breakfast time. There’s no argument over, anything.